I Used to Be Unstoppable. Then Perimenopause Joined the Group Chat

They say you are what you think. For 48 years, I was the undisputed champion of the "can-do" mindset. Driven, hyper-motivated, and firmly convinced that if I willed something into existence, it would happen. Curveball from life? No problem! I’d just slap a smile on it, call it a "character-building character flaw," and assume the universe was setting me up for an even bigger win. I trained my positive attitude like a muscle, flexing it at every minor inconvenience.

Then perimenopause entered the room, grabbed the mic, and completely changed the playlist.

Suddenly, I looked in the mirror and thought, Who on earth is that? The rules of engagement changed overnight. The brain fog rolled in, the thermal rollercoasters began, and my trusted old mantra of "I can do anything!" hit a very sudden, very confused wall.

It reached a peak recently when my workload started feeling utterly astronomical. Objectively speaking, my workload isn't actually any bigger than it was a few years ago back when I managed everything with a team of two instead of the 18 amazing people I have now. But mentally? I had swapped out my internal dialogue.

I stopped telling myself "I've got this!" and started muttering "I am drowning, I am overwhelmed, and I don't even know where to begin." Every time someone asked how I was, instead of my classic "I'm amazing!", I blurted out the raw, unedited truth: I am underwater. Unsurprisingly, my brain took those words as a direct command and promptly pulled the emergency brake.

It reminded me of a few years back when I was locked in a bitter feud with an extra 5 kilos. I spent so much time fighting my own body, obsessing over the scale, and trying to force myself back into a past version of me. Eventually, I realized life was much nicer when I just bought clothes that actually fit, stopped picking myself apart in the mirror, and gave myself a break.

So, I’m applying that exact same grace to my mind now.

When those chaotic "I can't handle this" thoughts start crashing the party, I gently show them the door. When a complicated document looks like ancient hieroglyphics, I don't spiral. I listen when my brain goes, "Hey, you're just exhausted. Go rest, hit reset, and tackle it tomorrow." For the first time in my life, I’m actually allowing myself to rest instead of running my engine until the smoke starts pouring out.

We waste so much energy wishing we could rewind the clock—wishing for our 20-something stamina, a past dress size, or the ability to power through 14-hour days on pure vibe and caffeine. But we don't live in the past.

Today, I might be carrying an extra 5 kilos, and no, I can't push myself to absolute exhaustion without paying for it for three business days. And that is totally okay.

Today, I’m choosing gratitude. I’m grateful for a strong body that still powers through Pilates, grateful for a glorious, unbroken 8 hours of sleep, and grateful for the wisdom to finally slow down.

We can't rewrite yesterday, and tomorrow hasn't happened yet. All we really have is today. So instead of worrying about "what if," I'm just asking myself: What can I enjoy and achieve right now, exactly as I am?